So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
