I'm gonna have a badass scar
meet me or not, i'm out of control
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
