It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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