bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
