i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
