her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
