Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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