Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
