So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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