Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I party with great urgency now.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
