Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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