its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
