I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
