I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
