there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
