Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
