This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
