So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
