is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
