Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
...so i touched it.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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