She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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