I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Randomize
