I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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