I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
