chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
