Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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