He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
