You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
