please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
