I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I have demons in me.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
