Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
