I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
