Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
