Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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