mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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