Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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