She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
How naked do you want me to be?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
