I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
we should paint friendship bongs
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