Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
