Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
