What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
