the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Too much gin, very little bucket
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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