I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
