Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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