but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
