I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
