used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
