I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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