you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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