Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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